Friday, October 23, 2009

Tofu: To F U

I got in a fight at Sunflower Market.


Maybe "fight" isn't the right word.


I had a stare down in the dairy aisle.


With Tofu.




Me: Listen Tofu, what are you even doing in the dairy aisle, you big faker.


Tofu: Don't even look at me, I am too good for you.


Me: What are you anyway?


Tofu: I am a healthier alternative to meat. Like I said, too good for you. Go find the Hostess cupcakes.


Me: But, I want to be healthier.


Tofu: hahahaha


Me: Really, but what do I do with you? Soft, firm, extra firm. You look so gross just sitting there in that Tofu juice.


Tofu: Stop squishing me and put me down.


Me: How could I pass you off on the men? They would know I tried to fake them out with Tofu the big faker.


Tofu: Stop staring at me like that and put me down.


Me: If I do buy you, I would need to make you tonight and hid the package way down deep in the garbage. How do make you? How could I pass you off as meat?



Tofu: I told you so.


Me: Told me what?


Tofu: I'm too good for you. Now move along.


And I did.


Tofu scares me.


8 comments:

Hillary Dickman said...

It scares me too! I've used it only once, to go in the bottom of a bowl of miso. It was okay but I wouldn't actually make it the centerpiece of any meal.

Kristen said...

Yeah it looks NASTY but I have a cousin who is vegan if you want me to get tofu recipes from her I could.

Elaine A. said...

I can't STAND the texture of it. *shudders* Ick.

MeKimka said...

It's not too bad if you deep fry it and pour soy sauce or teriyaki all over it :-)

Shannon said...

Hi there! I have 4 boys also if you include my husband! I agree with you-walk, don't run from that tofu. Anything made from a bean curd is not meant to be eaten! :)

sanjeet said...

t I have a cousin who is vegan if you want me to get tofu recipes from her I could.

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coloradosaferepair said...

I tryed but it didnt have any taste my husband loves it