There will be no slashing of the grocery bill unless you come through Rachael Ray!

Dear Rachael Ray,

I would love to order your magazine however, we (like many families) are watching our pennies right now. I enjoy reading it at the YMCA while I am working out, if someone hasn't already snatched it up.

I was overjoyed to see the October issue on the magazine stand this morning. And my inner cheapskate was excited to read about slashing my grocery bill, see page 69.

I grabbed a magazine holder and headed to the stairmill. I stepped up, programmed my workout, turned on my Ipod and prepared to turn to page 69 to read the article.

I turned to page 62, I turned to page 86, I turned back to page 64, I turned to page 75. Really, it should be in here somewhere. Ooops, don't fall off the stairmill and make an ass out of yourself. I turn to page 68, which happens to be right next to page 73.

DAMN IT! Some jerk ripped out the article I wanted to read! Now I am stuck on the stairmill for another 23 1/2 minutes.

While I did enjoy reading the other articles in your October issue, I was very sad to miss those tips on slashing my grocery bill. With three boys at home plus a husband, our grocery bill is OUTRAGEOUS.

Perhaps the article contained things I already knew:
Don't shop hungry
Clip coupons
Scour the sale fliers
Shop with a list

Maybe you had new helpful hints.

I NEED to know what that article contained. One way to slash my grocery bill would be to not purchase your magazine while I am waiting at the check stand, however, I don't think that was on your list.

It really irks me that some self-centered jerk who defaces YMCA property (ok, maybe that is a bit much, but really? You have rip out the article?) is slashing their grocery bill and I am not.

I find it ironic that the YMCA mission is: To put Christian principles into practice through programs that build healthy mind, body and spirit for all.

Stealing and vandalism where not Christian principles last time I checked. The slashing ripper must not have a healthy spirit.

So Rachael, what I would like is a link to the article, or possibly an email containing the ways to slash my grocery bill, or if you are feeling super generous perhaps you can mail me a copy of the October issue.

If I don't hear back from you, I will be forced to use Plan B; shop on the day the senior citizen community bus shows up at Safeway, pick up a few items and patiently read the article while waiting behind all the blue hairs to check out.

Thank you so much for your understanding in this matter.

Sincerely,
Laura A_______

p.s. To the person who ripped out the article, I plan to shop at every supermarket within 10 miles of the Y, I will find out who you are (you will be the one holding the article and following the helpful hints) and when I do I am going to follow you through the store, watch how you are slashing your bill and when you go to check out, I am going to run to get a head of you in line.