Tuesday, September 30, 2008

There will be no slashing of the grocery bill unless you come through Rachael Ray!

Dear Rachael Ray,

I would love to order your magazine however, we (like many families) are watching our pennies right now. I enjoy reading it at the YMCA while I am working out, if someone hasn't already snatched it up.

I was overjoyed to see the October issue on the magazine stand this morning. And my inner cheapskate was excited to read about slashing my grocery bill, see page 69.

I grabbed a magazine holder and headed to the stairmill. I stepped up, programmed my workout, turned on my Ipod and prepared to turn to page 69 to read the article.

I turned to page 62, I turned to page 86, I turned back to page 64, I turned to page 75. Really, it should be in here somewhere. Ooops, don't fall off the stairmill and make an ass out of yourself. I turn to page 68, which happens to be right next to page 73.

DAMN IT! Some jerk ripped out the article I wanted to read! Now I am stuck on the stairmill for another 23 1/2 minutes.

While I did enjoy reading the other articles in your October issue, I was very sad to miss those tips on slashing my grocery bill. With three boys at home plus a husband, our grocery bill is OUTRAGEOUS.

Perhaps the article contained things I already knew:
Don't shop hungry
Clip coupons
Scour the sale fliers
Shop with a list

Maybe you had new helpful hints.

I NEED to know what that article contained. One way to slash my grocery bill would be to not purchase your magazine while I am waiting at the check stand, however, I don't think that was on your list.

It really irks me that some self-centered jerk who defaces YMCA property (ok, maybe that is a bit much, but really? You have rip out the article?) is slashing their grocery bill and I am not.

I find it ironic that the YMCA mission is: To put Christian principles into practice through programs that build healthy mind, body and spirit for all.

Stealing and vandalism where not Christian principles last time I checked. The slashing ripper must not have a healthy spirit.

So Rachael, what I would like is a link to the article, or possibly an email containing the ways to slash my grocery bill, or if you are feeling super generous perhaps you can mail me a copy of the October issue.

If I don't hear back from you, I will be forced to use Plan B; shop on the day the senior citizen community bus shows up at Safeway, pick up a few items and patiently read the article while waiting behind all the blue hairs to check out.

Thank you so much for your understanding in this matter.

Sincerely,
Laura A_______

p.s. To the person who ripped out the article, I plan to shop at every supermarket within 10 miles of the Y, I will find out who you are (you will be the one holding the article and following the helpful hints) and when I do I am going to follow you through the store, watch how you are slashing your bill and when you go to check out, I am going to run to get a head of you in line.

10 comments:

Jodi said...

Oh that is so funny! But so true!

Dang those YMCA thiefs!!!!

Jodi said...

Oh that is so funny! But so true!

Dang those YMCA thiefs!!!!

Jodi said...

Oops! Sorry I hit it twice! Let's hope I don't THIS time!!

Elaine A. said...

This happened to me at the doctor's office once. It was a recipe that I was actually thinking I might want to snag myself but it was already gone! I was peeved. (confessins hera and now that I am guilty of magazine article theivery ...)

Elaine A. said...

sorry my comment was full of typos. Typing too fast! : )

Auds at Barking mad said...

OMG that was hilarious, in a frustrating way!

Were you ever able to find the link?

BTW....pssst, I FINALLY got you added to the blogroll!

Karen @Snakes-Snails-Puppydogtails said...

I use Picnik.com for my photo editing... watch out it's so easy it's addicting!
Is that bear still hanging around... maybe he took those pages!

Danielle (Life with the Hewitt Family) said...

Funny story! Good plan with Senior Citizen Day Shopping...good idea I might need to try that.

Chelle said...

Ohhh...I hate that! If they wanted the article so bad they should have bought the mag.

Mamasphere said...

That's why I always had a book with me, just in case the magazine I grabbed wasn't complete. It seems to happen a lot. And darn, it's always the good stuff!

I say hunt the person down and give 'em heck! And the steal the article back and let us know what Rachael had to say.