Thursday, June 12, 2008

Speechless

How to silence a precocious 10 year old.

1. Take him to the campground pool in Moab.

2. Watch him play and have fun.

3. Notice the foreign beauty arrive at the pool.

4. The 10 year old notices the foreign beauty.

5. The 10 year old sees the foreign beauty remove her cover-up to sunbathe.

6. The 10 year old gets his first glimpse of a THONG. And by glimpse, I mean long staring drool-fest.


Dear Foreign Beauty,

We don't dress like that in AMERICA. Really, really, do you think that is appropriate swimwear for a family campground? You must be so insecure with your almost dangerously thin physique that you crave the attention such a swimsuit (and I use that term loosely) can get you. Your boyfriend seemed to enjoy your outfit. Just wait until you get pregnant, deliver a baby, breastfeed and do it all over again and again. Then will you be so ready to bare it all in your thong?

The few husbands at the pool were smart enough to avert their eyes. The women glared at you from under their sunglasses. And the preteen boys at the pool, well I am sure they are still dreaming of their first sight of butt cheeks during their best vacation ever in Moab.

Sincerely,
The curvy mom in the tankini

13 comments:

Sgt and Mrs Hub said...

Ha! I love the part about her getting pregnant, breastfeeding etc... things do change, don't they!

A thong bikini... shiver!

-Andrea

Carol said...

Hilarious, well at least I know to avoid Moab when my boys are bigger, thanks for the heads up!

Shannon said...

Ha! LOVE the letter!
Happy POW!

BookMomma said...

What is UP with these chicks? First McMommy's harrowing experience, now yours! And now it looks like you'll have to have The Talk with your preteen.... I am NOT looking forward to that with my sons...

Yuk. Thongs.
Blech.

Here by way of POWs over at McMommy's

3boys247 said...

Bookmomma,
I thought of McMommy's post as this episode was happening! My husband looked over at me and said, "This is going on the blog, isn't it." My response, "Oh yeah."

Thank you all for stopping by today, Happy POW!

Laura

McMommy said...

Laura!!! I can't believe my G-String Girl made it all the way to the family campground pool in Moab!!!

That girl gets around. What is up with her and family pools???

Jen said...

There better not being any thong girls at the hotel pool we are visiting next week. If so, I'm going to start a Tankini Mom Revolt to have her banned.

Mamasphere said...

I have to deal with a gazillion thonged girls whenever we go to Brazil. It's awful, lol. And every time I see one, I can't help but feel like I have something stuck up my butt! Sympathy pains?

Amanda said...

This is hilarious! I have to say that i WHOLEHEARTEDLY agree with your point here!

4funboys said...

haaaaaaaaa... can you hear my laughing???

Remember, in CA most women are half naked at the beach and pools... and that's inspite of the fact that many of them aren't even smart enough to know that they don't belong in them. (I on the other hand, and VERY smart... smart enough to keep covered up *grin*)

As the boys get older... it really bugs me!

Elaine A. said...

I say let her enjoy it while it lasts, but yeah, her thong days are certainly numbered I'm sure! HA! ; )

Sorry your boys had to see her though. Hello! Awkward!

B Boys Mom said...

OMG how funny, I can't stop laughing. You are so right.

Queen to my 3 Boys said...

Made me smile...I hear ya, just wait until she gets pregnant...she will be forever changed.

I imagine her attitude towards appropriate swimwear may change, as well, especially if that pregnancy results in a girl that wishes to dress that way someday! LOL!