How to silence a precocious 10 year old.
1. Take him to the campground pool in Moab.
2. Watch him play and have fun.
3. Notice the foreign beauty arrive at the pool.
4. The 10 year old notices the foreign beauty.
5. The 10 year old sees the foreign beauty remove her cover-up to sunbathe.
6. The 10 year old gets his first glimpse of a THONG. And by glimpse, I mean long staring drool-fest.
Dear Foreign Beauty,
We don't dress like that in AMERICA. Really, really, do you think that is appropriate swimwear for a family campground? You must be so insecure with your almost dangerously thin physique that you crave the attention such a swimsuit (and I use that term loosely) can get you. Your boyfriend seemed to enjoy your outfit. Just wait until you get pregnant, deliver a baby, breastfeed and do it all over again and again. Then will you be so ready to bare it all in your thong?
The few husbands at the pool were smart enough to avert their eyes. The women glared at you from under their sunglasses. And the preteen boys at the pool, well I am sure they are still dreaming of their first sight of butt cheeks during their best vacation ever in Moab.
The curvy mom in the tankini