Tofu: To F U

I got in a fight at Sunflower Market.


Maybe "fight" isn't the right word.


I had a stare down in the dairy aisle.


With Tofu.




Me: Listen Tofu, what are you even doing in the dairy aisle, you big faker.


Tofu: Don't even look at me, I am too good for you.


Me: What are you anyway?


Tofu: I am a healthier alternative to meat. Like I said, too good for you. Go find the Hostess cupcakes.


Me: But, I want to be healthier.


Tofu: hahahaha


Me: Really, but what do I do with you? Soft, firm, extra firm. You look so gross just sitting there in that Tofu juice.


Tofu: Stop squishing me and put me down.


Me: How could I pass you off on the men? They would know I tried to fake them out with Tofu the big faker.


Tofu: Stop staring at me like that and put me down.


Me: If I do buy you, I would need to make you tonight and hid the package way down deep in the garbage. How do make you? How could I pass you off as meat?



Tofu: I told you so.


Me: Told me what?


Tofu: I'm too good for you. Now move along.


And I did.


Tofu scares me.

Is anybody out there?

I am trying to get back into the swing of things. The kids have been in school, sort of, since August 17th.

If anyone is still following my blog, I thought I could catch you up with a list of numbers. This is what has been going on since July 10th.

6 medals (3 gold, 3 silver) Griffin won at the city swim meet

3 days spent at the State swim meet

1 friend who moved to Mexico for a year of immersion

15 cousins and aunts who flew in to celebrate 8/8/09

150 particpants of the Sue DiNapoli Ovarian Cancer 5k run and 3k walk held August 8th

5000 dollars raised for the Sue DiNapoli Ovarian Cancer Foundation I started in honor of my mother who passed away on August 5th 2005. The foundation will help low income women with ovarian cancer screening.

85 friends who celebrated the night away at the early 40th birthday party

2 nights spent in an awesome house in Beaver Creek over my real 40th birthday weekend

3 boys who started school on August 17th

1 Labor Day pool party, sadly 1 pool closed for the season

1 job interview and offer

1 field trip with kindergarten class cut short, see next entry

1 broken arm, 1 ambulance ride, 2 pins, 1 night in hospital, 1 week off school
4 weeks in cast, 4 weeks in sling

1 swimming season over

1 football season over

3 pumpkins cut off the vine

22 pounds of apples picked off the tree

1 and 2 uterus and ovaries removed

14 fantastic friends who brought over food, snacks, flowers during my recovery

1.5 confirmed h1n1 cases in our home

1 unbelievable husband who took a week of vacation to care for his wife and ended up caring for sick kids too

28 vicodin taken during "quiet recovery at home"

5 hats knit on vicodin, now known as "vicodin hats"

0 days all the boys have been in school at the same time since September 28th

0 boys flying over Colorado in hot air balloon

3 boys going back to school tomorrow