Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Excuse me, Are you related to Matthew McConaughey?

Dear Sir,

Let me first apologize. You can not believe how embarrassed I am that you caught me staring at you...repeatedly.

I am very sorry, I could not tear my eyes away and focus on anything else, like say, umm, perhaps..... Hayden's swim lesson.

When you came in I had to look twice, and then a third time, and then again.

I was just in shock, seriously how old are you?

Much of the time I was staring, I was trying to figure out your age.

I didn't think you were a prematurely gray haired 50 year old.

I figure you have been a member of AARP since the first George Bush was President.

Retired for at least 10 years.

You are older than my father.

And Sir, can I just say....
Your body is smokin' hot.

Ok, I know, it is so wrong, you are probably 70 years old. But I have NEVER seen muscles like that in my entire life...except on one man..

Matthew McConaughey

Or as I like to call him

Matthew McCon-a-hey-hey

And then I figured it out...

... You must be Matthew's grandfather or his father's much older brother.

There is no way those muscles are not related.

Again, I apologize for staring. I realize you and your muscles would like some privacy.

And next time, when I remember to bring my camera, please ignore the flash, I am just taking pictures of my son in swim lessons. I would never take pictures of you to post here on my blog.... No, that would just be wrong.

See you Thursday morning and give my love to Matthew.


The drooling, open mouthed, crazy, staring lady on the bench at the pool


Staci said...

You definitely peeked my curiosity. Anyone comparable to Matthew McConaughey, and I'd be staring too!

Dana said...

OMG, I'm so jealous! Ok, well, if he's really old, I don't think it would matter how hot his bod is.

True story: I used to deliver mail in a 55+ park. There was a couple who would walk to the pool, her all covered up, and him in just his tiny speedo, aka banana hammock. Even though he had a nice body it threw me that he would just walk around like that, sometimes just working on the yard or house. It. was. strange.

MeKimka said...

Is it wrong to hope the trees in the neighborhood all get cut down because someone keeps calling the smoking hot silver-haired, tight jeaned, chainsaw weilding guy that tends to show up to do it? BTW- I always keep my lawnchair on the front lawn, why do they ask??

Elaine A. said...

Oooh, please get a picture. We gotta see too!

Kristen said...

I think your assignment for Thursday is to get a picture. I am also a fan of Mathew so I would like to see the "relative".

Hillary Dickman said...

Laura, I love you. Thank you for posting Matthew on your blog so now I can stare at him inconspicuously. And when Scott says, "Um, what are you looking at?" I can reply, "Oh, it's just Laura's blog." And he can walk away knowing that our marriage is safe!

Maybe you should invite Matt's uncle to the pool. Only 71 days to go.

Piece o' Coconut Cake said...

Pictures, we need pictures!!!

I Am Boymom said...

You know now that you HAVE to post the pics or you will have a full on commentor revolt and we will refuse to leave comments until the pumped up octogenarian photos are posted. There...I said it. There are consequences for teasing your readers!

4funboys said...

how funny are YOU!

keep taking pictures for us... we like living vicariously through you

Auds at Barking Mad said...

OMG this is brilliant. And ya know, I'd probably have done the same thing.

BTW....where are youuuuuuuu *echo echo echo*

Jodi said...

Yes I agree...we NEED pictures!